Remember how you hated playing soccer as a kid? Basketball was the sport you had to play when you quit soccer. Playing basketball has a lot of advantages over other sports for someone of that age, and your age. Games like HORSE make basketball a sport that anyone can win with a lucky shot. Behind the back and bounce shots level the playing field.
Basketball isn’t all bad. Portland has a team. Plus there are tons of children’s basketball movies that can yield a huge laugh from the smallest of mentions. Everyone worth talking to has seen the movie Space Jam. If you can manage to say the words “space,” and, “jam,” in the correct order to a twenty something you have mastered conversations. If you run with a younger crowd replace Space Jam with Air Bud.
The greatest thing about basketball is turning nouns into verbs. You didn’t “shoot” that piece of garbage into the trashcan, you “Kobe-d” it. Didn’t make it into the trashcan? No problem! You “Shaqed” it. Saying the name of a basketball player while doing anything adds value to the activity. Duck under something and say “Muggsy Bogues!” Break up with a significant other in front of a large group by saying “Lebron!”
As far as actually following the sport goes, it’s one of the easiest to follow. No matter how bad the team you’ve chosen to follow is doing during the regular season just point out how god damn long the season is. Over half the teams in the NBA make it to the play-offs. If you’re feeling flustered about all these games it’s okay. You don’t have to watch the entire thing. Every single basketball game comes down to the last minute. That means that in an NBA game the first 47 minutes are worthless. However, you should know that the last minute of play will take 30 minutes.
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